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Please Hold Still While I Punch You

March 17, 2011 By 7 Comments

Today’s post is a contribution from Mechelle Flowers-President of The Training Factor

Are you feeling angry? Or do you feel hostility radiating from your coworkers? The world is more stressful than ever these days. From the recession to earthquakes to nuclear power meltdowns, it can be difficult to keep the fears and frustrations from crossing over to the work environment. Dealing with apartment issues whether onsite or at a corporate office can be very stressful. Tensions can mount and we may find ourselves with a fake cheese grin saying to ourselves please hold still while I punch you. We have all been there and yes we have done that. If you haven’t then your property is on top of a mountain somewhere or a remote island south of Puerto Rico. Reminders regarding conflict resolution are very crucial. Here are a few helpful and non-helpful tips for dealing with anger.

Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger

DO acknowledge that you are angry.92841898 300x202 Please Hold Still While I Punch You

DO calm yourself before you say anything.

DO speak up, when something is important to you.

DO explain how you’re feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your anger.

Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger

DON’T ignore the anger.

DON’T keep the anger inside.

DON’T get aggressive.

DON’T get passive-aggressive.

DON’T use non-constructive communication styles.

Tell us how you are feeling these days and how you cope. You never know if someone out there could benefit from your experiences. What practical steps can you share that you use for yourself or implement for your team? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Written by Mechelle Flowers

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  • http://mbrewergroup.com mbrewer

    I would share this – anger is self induced and the worst form of giving up control. I had a guy describe it to me like this. Imagine you have a string attached to your heart and it comes right out of the front of your chest. Each time you get angry you in essence give the end of the string to the person or thing you are getting upset with. They or it now control you and your heart. Short message: Don’t do that. It’s your string and you control it.

    I exercise the rule of walking away. I suggest to the person that I can feel my self loosing control of myself and I ask for permission to walk away for a set amount of time. Before I leave the situation, I set a time to revisit. Commit to it. And, follow through with it. I’ve found that the old axiom, cooler heads prevail, really is true.

    Great post!

    Have a green filled day!

  • http://twitter.com/RealPageMichael Michael Cunningham

    I disagree, Mark. I would totally wrap that heart string around the other person’s throat. It’s a great way to work up a sweat and relieve the anger and stress (and you wouldn’t believe how many calories you burn wrestling with somebody), plus I usually end up getting my way. It’s a win-win!

  • http://www.thetrainingfactor.com/ Jonathan Saar

    Good morning Mike. I agree totally. It may not be the most easiest way to approach it since emotions are hard things to control but it is something with discipline it is possible. The cool down time is important. We learn that with our children and so the same applies in our office. I like your illustration very much. I will chew on that for the day. Thanks for sharing.

  • http://www.bsitko.com Bill Szczytko

    I love what you said Mike but stopping those emotions from erupting into an expletive filled diatribe are extremely tough. Anger is something we all try to deal with in one way or another. Some do a much better job of it than others. I’ll take anybody’s advice… help!

  • http://www.thetrainingfactor.com/ Jonathan Saar

    Michael somehow this sounds a lot like celebrity death match if you remember that show. :)
    On a serious note I have found that when anger is exhibited it just erodes all productivity in a team. Is that a fair statement?

  • http://www.thetrainingfactor.com/ Jonathan Saar

    Losing self control is not considered an attribute in the business world. My father tried to stop me from getting into fights in school by teaching me never to lower myself to someones immaturity and/or lack of self control. The office environment is no different. As leaders there are days when it is really hard to set the tone but it is something we need to prep ourselves for every morning.

  • http://www.bsitko.com Bill Szczytko

    Agree totally. Great post today … really got me thinking.

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